I am not sure when holidays get easier. I really shouldn't complain too much about father's day, it's not even my holiday. But I do. It sucks for C. I know this. It sucks that B won't be around when all she wished for was a daddy. And now, she can't even celebrate it with the one she waited so long for.
It sucks for B too. He doesn't get to spend the day with his family like we did on mother's day. He gets stuck working a 7th day in a row instead. It's not fair to either of them.
Last year, I think it was easier. We were closer to other family. We could at least see other people. We don't have that luxury this year. My dad doesn't even talk to me. I haven't seen him since he threw our going away party. That was last year, in February.
Sometimes, holidays just make me remember how alone I really am here. I don't know anyone here and I don't have close family. Although even when I was closer to my family, it sometimes seemed like I was worlds apart from them.
If you can tell me when it gets easier, I would love to know. Until then, I will suck it up.
XOXO
Jes
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